Emotional intelligence: What is it?

It means being aware of the emotions behind our behaviour. As well as the impact they have on others (positively and negatively). As well as learning how to manage those emotions. Both our own and others’. Especially when we are under pressure. In short. “Emotional intelligence is knowing how to control your emotions. Or at least not reacting in an incongruent way that affects you as much as it does society”.

Emotional intelligence

An emotionally intelligent person is one who is able to manage emotions successfully. To achieve positive results in their relationships with others.

History

The concept emerged in 1983 with the psychologist Howard Gardner. He considers IQ tests to be insufficient for an assessment of intelligence.

There are two basic forms of emotional intelligence:

Interpersonal intelligence

It involves understanding and comprehending the emotions of others. And having the ability to react according to the other’s state of mind.

Intrapersonal intelligence

It involves understanding and comprehending one’s own emotions. Taking them into account when making decisions. And being able to regulate emotions according to the situation.

Characteristics of people with emotional intelligence

There are certain practical skills that are manifested with greater intensity in emotionally intelligent people, such as empathy, the ability to motivate (both towards oneself and towards others), self-awareness, the ability to control the externalisation of emotions, leadership, among others. Generally, these skills are used as indicators of emotional intelligence, when one wants to measure this psychological skill.

Importance of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a central role in the success or failure of all types of human relationships, from sentimental and family relationships to work relationships.

It is also a determining factor in the functioning of organisations, as people’s empathy, emotional self-control and motivation can condition teamwork, making it more or less efficient and satisfactory.

This concept has also had an enormous impact in the field of education, introducing the question of the emotional elements in the relationship between teacher and student, and the importance that this has at the moment of cognitive learning. Both the emotional intelligence of the teacher and the learner have a significant bearing on the successful or unsuccessful outcome of the teaching process.

These skills are also important in people’s ability to convince, manipulate and even dominate others (leaders tend to be emotionally intelligent people).

Emotions in our daily lives

If we think carefully about the importance of our emotions in our daily lives, we will quickly realise that there are many occasions when they have a decisive influence on our lives, even if we do not realise it.

For example: Have we ever been annoyed with someone at work and stopped talking to them to the point that we can’t carry out our activities? Or do we have run-ins with others because of the same situation?

A large part of our decisions are influenced to a greater or lesser degree by emotions. Given this reality, it is worth noting that there are people with a much more developed mastery of their emotional facet than others. And it is curious to note the low correlation between classical intelligence (more linked to logical and analytical performance) and Emotional Intelligence.

On the other hand, we can find people whose intellectual capacities are very limited, but who, on the other hand, manage to have a successful life in the sentimental sphere, and even in the professional sphere. This is why it is becoming increasingly evident to practice emotional intelligence in our lives.

Companies need people with emotional intelligence

Inteligencia emocional

Companies have realised that one of the keys to commercial success and the sale of their products lies in the degree to which their employees are able to recognise and control their emotions, as well as those of their customers.

It is almost unthinkable to conceive of a salesperson who lacks customer skills. A businessman without motivation for the management of his company or a negotiator who does not know how to control his impulses and emotions.

All the technical knowledge based on the best relation between academic studies and experience will be no guarantee for these people because sooner or later they will fail in economic operations due to a deficient knowledge of their emotions.

How to develop emotional intelligence?

Here are some steps to help you develop your emotional intelligence little by little.

 Know your emotions

It is important to be attentive to our moods, and to our reactions to everyday situations, seeking to establish connections with the stimuli that provoke them. It is necessary to achieve a neutral attitude without judging or rejecting what we feel, eliminating negative thoughts from our perception.

Control your emotions

We should try to control our impulses and inhibit negative thoughts. Free from anxiety, sadness or exaggerated irritability. It is not a matter of repressing feelings, but of achieving a balance, since each feeling has its function and usefulness.

Motivate yourself

Optimism is one of the most important prerequisites for achieving our goals. This capacity becomes evident in difficulties, in tiredness, in frustration, in failure; when negative things abound, it is here that keeping a positive outlook can mean success or abandonment of the goal. The development of optimism and self-esteem is related to patterns of upbringing and education. It is therefore important to establish mechanisms to reinforce the individual’s expectation of success.

Know how to recognise other people’s emotions

It is an individual’s ability to grasp the emotional states of others. In other words, empathy. It is important to be aware of our own emotional states and to be able to perceive the non-verbal elements associated with the emotions of others. Being able to detect what they need or what they want. Empathy is a fundamental social skill. It is about putting oneself in the other person’s shoes, tuning in to their feelings and needs.

Control your relationships

This skill consists of an individual’s ability to relate appropriately to the emotions of others. The basic requirement for managing the emotions of others is the development of two skills: self-control and empathy.

These social attitudes guarantee effectiveness in dealing with others. And without them we are doomed to failure and social ineptitude. On the contrary, the development of these skills influences the ability to inspire, persuade and deepen relationships with others.